Think About This Before Your Next Conversation


Welcome back to another solo episode of BB growth. If this is your first time listening to one of these episodes, most of our episodes throughout the week are interviews with CEOS, CMOS VP's of marketing at bebb companies, but on the weekends I use this time to share some of the things that I'm learning, some of the ways that we're growing as a company, and so hopefully it's up before you. My name is James Carberry. I'm one of the cohosts of BB growth, the founder of sweet fish media, the company that produces a show, and today I'm going to be talking about a book that I just read. I just got back from a BB growth dinner in Seattle and those flights to these dinners that I've been doing have I've been getting a lot of reading in, Aka audible listening, and this book is, it was a fascinating book by Celeste Headley. The title of the book is we need to talk, how to have conversations that matter, and I just want... use this episode to share one of my biggest takeaways from this or where. There are a lot of really tangible takeaways from this book, but the biggest one for me was in when you when you look at the conversations that you're having on a regular basis, be it with a friend, with a colleague, with your boss, with your employee, these most of the conversations that we have when we're when we're trying to empathize with somebody. If someone's, you know, sharing that that something you know, happened with their spouse or they're going through a really tough situation at home or with a with a coworker, our default response to them is typically shining the spotlight back on ourselves. So we'll talk about a similar issue that we've gone through or, you know, a challenge that we had, and in doing so, we think...

...that we're empath empathy, empathizing with them. We think we're relating to that person, but in reality we're just we're just shining the spotlight back on us and reorienting the conversation back on ourselves instead of keeping it focused on on the person that chose to share whatever it is, you know, they shared with us. Now, obviously there are there are times when it's you know, it's good for the conversation to bring up your experience, but it really that that part of the book was really eye opening for me because I feel like I do that quite a bit. When someone is opening up to me, they're telling me about something, my default position is exactly what Celeste called out in the book, to talk about yourself and talk about how, Oh, I can relate to that because such and such happened. Well, now the...

...conversation is about us again, and not not focus on them, so she said. Instead of doing that, be conscious of that and and just ask better questions, dig dig deeper into the situation, be curious instead of defaulting to Oh, well, let me tell you about this time that something like that happened to me, and so that was a really big takeaway for me. It's something that I think I struggle with. Didn't really recognize it as a struggle before reading that book, but thought it would be helpful to share with this audience, with the folks listening to this, because we're all in the midst of having having conversations every single day, and so it was a great book. Lots of takeaways. That was the biggest one for me. So I will keep it, keep it nice and brief here on this Saturday episode and and go check out the book. Celeste headly we need to talk... to have conversations that matter. As the title of the book, listen to it on audible, you get the physical copy. Whatever you need to do, but definitely worth worth your time. Hopefully this is value before you. Thanks at.

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